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failure, moodswings

Lately I'm not feeling good. DM gives me strength, went through the same things I did and am still going through.

Watching in the mirror gives me psychological (and physical) pain. I just hate my tummy, I look like Winnie Poo or the big sized Buddah. I'm trying to lose weight again. It's difficult. My face is full of pimples what I hate (who doesn't?). All together I just feel very uncomftable in my skin right now.

I'm trying to relate and trust my friends but it's hard. Sometimes I feel like they were angry at me or annoyed because of me and I don't know why.. Maybe it's just in my head but it might just as well be real. I mean, my last friends were all talking behind my back. The ugly truth.

Tomorrow I organised a surprise halloween-afterbirthday party for a friend. Now I feel guilty because another friend has to put the decorations up. She's kind of pissed.

My mood swings enormousely. I don't know why. Today I had a ferric-transfusion. It took 25 minutes instead of 15.. It was kinda cosy but wasted time as well.

Today I skipped school to do my homework that I didn't do because of the partyorganisations and I'm living in a house with friends at the moment what means I was chatting with them instead of doing anythin. The only thing that really annoys me is, that I've got the impression that I'm doing the cleaning up of the kitchen most of the time.

And I'm worried about the Hurricane in NY.. I don't want anything to happen to the people I know there....! So good luck to them. They are great people so I think they do have an angel guarding them. <3

by bye



30.10.12 23:20

Letzte Einträge: Days after days, what I found out, what I found out, messy day?, MY LIFE NOT AS LIZ.., human trafficking / Menschenhandel

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